Dive. An Esoteric Buddhist inquiry into karma, interconnectedness, and the cosmos that loves us

The Midnight Dialogues in Vancouver

From 2018 until this past summer—when he returned to the stars—the visionary media producer and thinker Tetra Tanizaki hosted an extraordinary lecture series called the Holos Space Academy alongside Ryugen Matsunami, the Abbot of Hōdō-ji, an experimental Buddhist temple breathing contemporary life into ancient wisdom.

Centered on the theme of “An Ever-Changing World and the Unchanging Truth,” it wasn’t an intellectual dissection of abstract concepts. It was a lived inquiry: “How can the relationship between my inner universe and the world be transformed?”

It explored Holos (an integral cosmic view) as Pratītyasamutpāda (dependent origination / the resonant web of interconnectedness)—not just as philosophy, but as the evolution of consciousness and social transformation.

Even though it was 2:00 AM in Vancouver, the sheer resonance of their unscripted dialogue was electrifying. Week after week, I found myself wide awake, joyfully tuning in live across oceans.

Today, I want to share a piece of what stirred my soul there.

First-Person Singular in a Fractured World

War, climate catastrophes, the shadow within human hearts…

Every day, across the world, these fractures unfold fractally.

Instead of the classic question, “How Do You Live?”,

I feel a daily pulse asking:“How do I live?”

In the face of it all, does it actually matter when people whisper,

“I can’t do anything, but I’m praying for you”?

Is it really true that “When I am at peace, the world is at peace”?

Here is my honest answer so far.

The Wave Clears the Sea

Swimming through the ever-expanding ocean of meaning within the web of dependent origination, the world is, ultimately, strictly first-person singular.

Yet, at the very same moment, everything is inextricably linked to the Source—just like waves born from the ocean that inevitably dissolve back into the sea.

A single wave (the individual) cannot carry the karmic weight of the entire ocean (Ālayavijñāna / storehouse consciousness).

However:

When a single wave clears and resolves its own karma, that liberation unconditionally returns to the ocean.

Because even when the wave vanishes, the ocean remains.

Living as a wave while intimately anchored to the sea.

It is precisely because we inhabit physical bodies that we are capable of performing acts of compassion. And resting at the very bedrock of compassion is prayer.

Through that living compassion, the Ocean (Ālayavijñāna) continues to update itself.

Struck by the Desire of “Something Great”

“Because that is the desire of the Ālayavijñāna.”

The moment I heard those words, it hit me like a lightning bolt.

Because that is what the Ocean yearns for.

Ālayavijñāna（阿頼耶識） in Buddhism.

Dainichi Nyorai (Mahāvairocana：大日如来) in Esoteric Buddhism.

God / Love in Christianity.

The Collective Unconscious in psychology.

The Quantum Field in modern physics.

Call it what you wish.

It is the Something Great that has dwelled alongside us long before names ever existed.

Beneath our soles, above the heavens, within every cell and subatomic particle, “It” reigns in absolute stillness.

And to realize that this very Ground of Being holds a longing—that realization struck right through my core.

I caught myself wondering:

Why does “It” gaze upon us with such fierce tenderness?

Why does “It” love us so relentlessly?

Witnessing our transformation in its entirety.

Dissolving our most brutal cruelties and our most sublime acts of love into the vast sea of consciousness—holding nothing back, entrusting everything to us.

And we, in turn, are entrusted.

This terrifying, absolute freedom.

The agony born from it.

And the sheer, breathtaking ecstasy when we brush against that very Source.

The Pulse Within Ordinary Life

“It” isn’t locked inside arcane Buddhist canons, nor floating in galaxies light-years away, nor hidden solely within the rituals of Amazonian shamans. (Though, of course, it lives there too.)

It pulses right here, inside me.

As a physical resonance vibrating my mind, body, and spirit.

Simultaneously, it breathes through ordinary everyday life, weaving through every living creature and fleeting moment, boundless and eternal.

What on earth is “It”?

Why does it never look away from us?

Why does it love us so deeply?

And why are we so helplessly, endlessly in love with it—longing with every breath to return Home?

“Because that is the desire of the Ālayavijñāna.”

The instant that truth sank in, a sensation flooded through me:

“We are, and have always been, in profound mutual love.”

It sounds so cliché and simple when reduced to words, yet a visceral avalanche of feeling rushed through my chest, and I was overcome with tears.

Diving In

There is a song by Olivia Dean called “Dive.”

Diving into you, diving into meWanna swim good and I wanna swim deep,I’m ready to dive…

On the surface, it’s a sweet, infectious love song.

Yet for me, the melody, her voice, the atmosphere—everything transports me to a state far beyond romance. It has become the quiet anthem of this spiritual journey.

The sensation of the individual “I” dissolving back into the cosmic womb.

Diving headfirst into that Presence which beholds all, loves all, yields to all, and forgives all.

Ah, what a miraculous thing it is to be alive.

So here’s to living even more fiercely, and with an open heart today.

Because that is the desire of the Ālayavijñāna.

Because that is the desire of Love.

Thank you. I love you.

With all my love, from Ai.